I'm a newbie here, please forgive me! (#4)

Everyday I spend here, I seem to learn something new--these are both pleasant and unpleasant experiences. For example, "service" is often included--it's nice for those who hate math and struggle to figure out how much to tip; however, it is a difficult habit to break when you are used to shelling out extra $ as a thank you. We learned the mistake of tipping one of our first nights here; it is such a foreign idea to think that someone would be offended by you giving them extra money for their service, but the stares you will receive upon dropping that extra pound on the counter strike immediate and confusing guilt in your heart. I had never considered that a tip could be viewed as a snob giving away charity---yikes! A pleasant surprise has been travel by train: I absolutely LOVE it! I was a bit nervous about how all the boarding and ticketing worked the first time, but I truly enjoy the ease of hopping up without crazy security staring you down (like in airports) and find myself much more relaxed and comfortable to watch the countryside whoosh by me as I eat, read or listen to my ipod--I have no problems falling asleep feeling totally safe and knowing that a pleasant announcement over the intercom will announce the next stop. Hostels, on the other hand, get mixed reviews in my book. If I am in a room with all people I know, I have decided they are just fine--no different than a sleepover of sorts. The concept of being a room mixed with any kind of stranger--be it man, woman, child or the occasional "uncertain"--quickens the pace of my heart and makes me sweat. In Edinburgh, for example, I literally felt feverish trying to fall asleep in a "mixed" room; I felt like I was in a horror film, afraid of everything that could be in my bedding, and everyone who might be after me in my own room or the hostel itself. I refused to take off my long-sleeved pullover for fear of what might touch my skin, even though I also felt I was dying of heat and thirst. I have decided that it is no wonder Americans don't really buy the whole hostel idea; we are much more self-indulgent with our hotel rooms for the individual, and I have realized that I'm ok with indulgence in this respect!

How do I deal with all of this new, you ask? Well, that's easy. You just deal. I felt bad about the tipping insult, but didn't want to offend more by continuing to apologize or discuss it. At home, I most certainly apologize profusely and try to explain myself if I feel I have made a mistake--I'm not sure why I didn't do the same here; I guess I just felt so out of my element I wasn't sure of the right course of action. At home, as far as travel, we just don't have as many exciting options. Usually, I stick to what I know--cars--because they are always available. We just don't branch out with our modes of transportation as much. I truly wish we had a similar train system, though! In general, at home I feel I ask more questions about new things that come into my life and I am not embarrassed to do so. Here, I feel awkward asking sometimes, as if someone will be annoyed with me not knowing in the first place. (I am pretty sure a street vendor in Edinburgh was thoroughly bothered, and said as much, when one in our group asked if there was a street market that day--we still don't know if it was just because it was Sunday or not.) So, I cling to the group a bit more here than I would normally; it just feels safer in numbers and, if we all make the same mistakes, I don't feel so bad.

Being surrounded by a totally new culture and customs, I find myself much more shy than normal, which totally surprises me. I rarely feel this way so it is somewhat uncomfortable at times. It makes me more aware of how visitors to America must feel at times, not knowing the unspoken rules we take for granted. On a smaller scale, it gives me a perspective on students who are new to my classroom or the school in general, and how scary or awkward it might be for some of them. This experience is making me really lean on my observational skills so that I might accept the new and surprising things that appear with more grace. Being open-minded and able to adapt is definitely a life-skill! My goal is definitely to avoid insulting any more locals and to learn more about cultural norms prior to engaging in them.